How to Overcome Pornographic Distortions without Negating the Goodness of the Body and of Sexual Desire?
Pope Francis’s marvelous reflection on St. Paul’s hymn to love (“Love is patient, love is kind…”) from his document The Joy of Love continues to enrich me. I’d like to reflect on what Pope Francis said about the fact that “love does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right” as a way of overcoming the distortions of our pornographic world.
I recently read that the world’s largest porn site gets 2.4 million visitors per hour. In one year alone, people around the world watched 4.4 billion hours of its content – that’s over half a million years’ worth … on only one of the millions of pornographic websites available. The magnitude of the problem and the misery it causes is simply unfathomable.
Why do I bring this up here? Because taking pleasure in the sexual exploitation of men and women in pornography is a keen example of “rejoicing in the wrong.” Pope Francis speaks of this as “the toxic attitude of those who rejoice at seeing an injustice done to others.” What could be more unjust to a person than to turn a blind eye to his or her dignity and value by treating that person as an object to be exploited, used, bought and sold for others’ lustful gratification?
The way we overcome “rejoicing at wrong,” however, is not merely by condemning the wrong, but by “rejoicing in the right.” In this case, overcoming the wrong of pornography does not happen by negating sexuality and erotic desire, but, rather, by coming to rejoice in God’s glorious plan for them. As Pope Francis rightly insists, “the rejection of distortions of sexuality and eroticism should never lead us to disparagement or neglect of sexuality and eros in themselves.” To the degree that eros is rightly ordered: “it becomes a ‘pure unadulterated affirmation’ revealing the marvels of which the human heart is capable” (Joy of Love 157, 152).
The key here, of course, is rightly ordering our desires. Francis speaks passionately about this need and this real possibility throughout his document on the family: “A person can certainly channel his passions in a beautiful and healthy way,” he insists, “increasingly pointing them towards altruism and integrated self-fulfillment” (148). The discipline required here involves “not the denial or destruction of desire so much as its broadening and perfection” (149).
One of the things God wants to show us is that behind all our misdirected desires and lusts, there is a legitimate desire God put there and wants to satisfy. Uncovering that legitimate desire and entrusting its satisfaction entirely to God is critical to our healing and wholeness. Father Jacques Philippe makes this point insightfully when he observes that “one passion can only be cured by another – a misplaced love by a greater love, wrong behavior by right behavior that makes provisions for the desire underlying the wrongdoing, recognize the conscious or unconscious needs that seek fulfillment and … offers them legitimate satisfaction.” Some people call this “inner healing.”
Love does not rejoice at wrong. Sometimes I do. Lord, teach me to rejoice in the right. Teach me to love.
Courtesy: Christopher West